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So let your family know you won’t be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or whatever weird pagan holiday you celebrate with a digital card from Don't Kill Your Family. You might hurt them, but at least you won’t kill them with COVID.

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BUT THIS YEAR, YOU ACTUALLY COULD.

WE'VE ALL DREAMED
OF KILLING OUR FAMILIES DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

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CREATE A CARD

Why pick up the phone when you can let our professionalish writers do the talking? First, fill out the form. Then, we’ll select a message based on the info you provide. Next, we’ll email you a digital card you can forward to a loved one. Finally, put your nihilism on full display by sharing your card to social media with #dontkillyourfamily.

Thanks for submitting.
You’re one step closer to not killing your weird
uncle Karl who stockpiles Mountain Dew in his basement.

**SUBMISSIONS ARE CLOSED**

Create A Card
FAQ
  • Does this cost money?
    No. But it could cost you your inheritance.
  • How long does it take for my digital card to be delivered?
    1-5 business days
  • What if my relationship isn’t listed in the dropdown menu?
    Give us the details in the Anything Else We Should Know section.
  • Why can't I submit my info through the form?
    Because you’re probably using Internet Explorer 2004. Try Chrome, Safari or Firefox. And if you’re still having problems, feel free to email us your details.

FAQ

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Dead uncle jokes aside, be kind, wear a mask, and if
you can, please donate a
few bucks to the WHO.

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